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‘Letter to My Insecurity’


Dear, Insecurity

I know it’s been a long time sense we talked, and I’ve never been able to look you in the eye for some reason; so iAm writing you this letter. I want to start off by saying that for a long time, actually for as long as iCan remember you have had a stronghold on the way iLook at myself. iHave had constant talks with my reflection in the morning before school and no matter how private the convo, u jus creep up and force me to pay attention. Your voice is strong and demanding and commands my attention. Making me side eye my clothing and believing iWas not ‘fresh to death’. Constantly doing the breath test as if iSuffer from O.C.D. Taking control of my body and having me step on a scale just to look down in disappointment at the numbers iRead. You don’t stop there.
When walking down the block, iFeel like iHave to ask myself if this person is staring at me, or staring through me? Do they analyze me the way you make me analyze me? You have taken over my mental and snatched away my individuality. Thanks to you iPlayed the wall at parties, declined invites to social venues, stuttered around females and doubted myself in every way possible in many aspects.
It is for that reason that iMust thank you.
You see insecurity you made me realize following trends is not the path iChoose to walk. Insecurity you made me realize that my weight is not a pound under or over. In fact insecurity did you know the ‘average weight’ for someone my age is based on some other persons OPINION of what they feel you SHOULD weigh due to weighing various individuals that have their own insecurities haunting them?! . So I’ve learned to ‘middle finger’ them and their opinion. Hell it is because of you insecurity that now iWalk down the block with my head held high, no longer feeling the need to be ‘fresh to death.’ My new thing is ‘Death to the fresh’ & the swagga, & wavy & every other word used to classify people who THINK their clothes make them. No longer do iPlay the walls at parties, in fact I’m at the party with the same girl iUsed to stutter to back in the day. Thank You insecurity, for you forced me to disect so much about myself that iFound myself. No longer does ur voice haunt me Morning, Noon and Night. iJust figured iWould let you know why you have not heard from me in so long; my confidence told me its rude to part ways without saying goodbye. THIS is my goodbye.

Yours Truly;

iForgot to tell you, iStill do the breath test when needed, but that’s my hygiene checking in on me.


Note to the Reader


iAm new to the blogging scene, iHave a lot of free time being stuck in the hospital and what better way to deal with the insanity of this solitude then to vent through writing. iAm a simple yet complex mind so certain things iPost can be taken as poetic, inspirational, comedic, or just plain aggy. Either way this is who iAm as a whole . With that said let us step into the mind of an individual whose ideas rest between Jupiter and Saturn. enjoy. : ]